Hello and welcome. It’s nice to talk to somebody who isn’t carrying a gun.

Allow me to introduce myself: Wallace Drunnel, licensed CPA and indentured servant to [Censored]. It is a source of considerable embarrassment for me to announce that I have been tasked with writing an “About” section for this blog.

Oh, joy. My parents would be so proud.

Anyway, let’s get right to it. [Censored] was born in – hang on, I’m being flagged, one moment –

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OK, so apparently that information is classified.  Let’s move on.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times – OUCH!  OK!  OK!

[Censored] is, in a word, a man of few words, insofar as I have never heard him speak.  As far as I can tell from the radar scans, he lives in a small yurt in the northern Mongolian steppes, but holidays in Siberia on alternating Thursdays for a change of pace.

In his formative years, [Censored] was an avid follower of the Malasian Straightjacket Movement.  He wears blue-tinted Raybans, drives a white 2011 Subaru Forester, and owns more than $40,000 in Dora the Explorer limited edition merchandise.

That is all you will ever need to know.